Time and again it happens that a “nude photo scandal” makes the big headlines. Some celebrity shows off in a very natural manner, with a more or less sexy face impression, very often by shooting self-photos and posing pretty much like a bloody amateur, mostly doing top-less pics, sometimes full pics that show… well, you know.
Paris Hilton, Rihanna, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Greene… the list goes on and on.
It’s only a matter of time that those photos come into public. And while it’s a great thing for fans, the stars and starlets don’t seem to have any idea how to handle the situation. They easily lose control over their shots.
That’s why i wrote a small and simple checklist for them. It’s a guideline for celebrities who just love to get undressed…
A guide for uncovered celebrities!
So you saw your private photos somewhere online? Don’t worry about it. It’s really very easy to live with that kind of photos that hit the internet. It’s only a matter of your own attitude ;-)
Let us start at the very beginning:
- Don’t use a mobile phone.
Mobile phones very likely produce poor picture quality. You are a Star, don’t mess around with poor equipment. Buy a decent camera and put it on a tripod. All modern cams have a self-shot function. Your pics will be so much hotter, you wouldn’t believe it!
- Don’t show too much.
At first you stand there in a bikini or sweet lingerie, that’s a good start. You blow a kiss into the camera, looking hot. You think it’s time to remove the bra. That’s fine. A little later you turn on with the panties, also great. You are getting very hot. But now it’s time to stop before you do things that could be really illegal and shocking. Better don’t show too much, except one thing…
- Don’t forget your butt.
Your fans will be really disappointed if you forget to make some shots of your perfect backside. It can be challenging but following point 1 of this guide will help you a lot to create a perfect setting for your pretty ass.
- Don’t hide what you like.
If you like your photos there is no reason to keep them for yourself. Have you forgotten your profession? You are a celebrity, it’s your job to walk straight into the spotlight. Are you an ugly fat prat or what?
- Don’t keep the files on your camera.
On the other hand, if you don’t like what you see and want to make sure that your mugshots don’t reach an audience, delete them immediately. Don’t borrow the camera or mobile to anybody. Don’t tell anybody about your private shots! Especially not your boy-friend…
- Don’t trust your boy-friend.
Of course you love your sweet boy-friend. But he is only a man. And men are bad, you know it. Okay, you are the evil girl that shows off in front of the camera, but… it’s always the men…
- Don’t bring the film to your local photo shop.
This one is pretty obvious and goes hand in hand with point 5 and 6. If you bring your photos to your local photo service chances are high that somebody in the shop or laboratory recognizes your famous face and tries to make a little fun with it. Also don’t send your digital pics via email and no – don’t post them on myspace.
- Don’t feel sorry.
Let’s say your secret photos somehow got into public. What are you ashamed of? That you look good and sexy? Hey, you can be proud! You did some nude shots, so what? And please don’t lie! Don’t say the pics are only fakes when you know better. That would be embarrassing.
- Don’t call your lawyers.
Web2.0 is fast. It’s faster than you. While you send your lawyers out to fight a couple of websites which posted your private pics, the same pics will keep on spreading over the web – even at higher speed. The pics maybe disappear for a few weeks but will be back soon enough and in another corner of the web. Calling your lawyers only helps to fill the lawyers bank account, but it won’t help you. So…
- Don’t waste time.
…so don’t waste time and money. Go and say loud and clear: “Yes, it’s me. I’m glad everybody likes my photos. Now let’s talk about my next movie.” If you really want to remove your nipples from the front pages, this is the only way that works. The photos were shot, they are reality and already published. It’s too late.
- Don’t forget the watermark.
By the way, it’s a good idea to add a watermark to your photos. This will proof that it is your original work. Best put your official domain on it. Talk to your website administrator to make sure the site won’t crash under the huge traffic.
- Don’t forget to monetize.
So you think those private photos will damage your career? Destroy your upright image? There’s no proof about it. In fact, such scandals always bring some new fans in. But anyway, it can’t be a bad idea to monetize the scandal before others do. Why not signing official autographs and selling them online? Why not open a premium area on your website? You know, the child already fell into the well.
- Don’t listen to your manager.
Yes, your manager will go ballistic! He worked hard to push you up the stairway. Now he is afraid that you could fall down a few steps. Just give him this guide to read. Your manager is a smart man who will understand what’s going on. If he can’t get it, fire that idiot.
- Don’t give fakes a chance.
Like you know from point 12 you should avoid that other people make money with your body. If you notice some fake pics spreading over the web quite successfully, then it’s time to shoot back! You don’t want to see your face mounted on another girls body, do you? Show the world the original.
- Don’t blame the wrong people.
When your private photos are published, by accident or not, stop screaming and shouting at the wrong people. It was you and only you who created those scandal pics. It’s your fault and not the fault of anybody else. Yes, it’s so much easier to blame other people for the mistakes you have done.
This guide of 15 tips for celebrities who can’t handle their accidently published private photos may contain some points that sound absurd or too funky.
But it’s like i’ve written above, it’s only a matter of the celebrity’s own attitude.
Personally, i can’t see any scandal in the private photos of Ashley and the others. Those pics doesn’t contain explicit poses. It may be wrong that the pics went online, because there once were meant to be private (?).
But it’s wrong to blame the websites and blogs which post them. It’s just part of the show business. We are not talking about some stalker who shot beach photos of a starlet while she was in her private area. This is about the girls who self-shoot in their bedrooms and later try to explain and make excuses.
Putting all 15 point together brings up the formula: Don’t shoot fateful photos and you will stay out of trouble. If you shoot anyway, don’t cry afterwards.